Gen X…Too Dumb to Notice?

With 2017 coming to a close, I'm taking today to grab inspiration. I'm feverishly finishing articles for Vape Magazine's February 2018 edition but finding solace in reliving my adult youth from music. Today, it's the 90's. 

I've been spending the day with dark and moving artists like Marilyn Manson, NIN, Korn and Rammstein because that is what my 20 year old self knew. It was a time in my life of non-stop abundance and indulgence in life around me.  I was a young girl striving to find out who she really was. I threw myself into music seeking lyrics to help me uncover every nook and cranny of myself. I wanted to know it all and feel it all - the joy, anger, heartbreak, laughter. I wanted to give every feeling it's own identity and call every demon by its name. I wanted the pure and raw self. 

Today, I am re-harnessing that energy into writing. I have this music blaring as I write, unbeknownst to the world around me. It's my secret sanctuary where I find peace because i am free to be myself. Do you get exhilarated on the energy of "Superbeast" from Rob Zombie?  For me, this angry music of the 90's releases this pent up energy and either makes me want to punch someone in the face or write. Today, I choose to write. I never said I was an angel or promised you a rose garden, after all.

I know I am not alone in this feeling that this type of music gives us. I know there are plenty out there who can identify with exactly what it is I'm saying. It's a Gen X angst that I think only our generation truly understands. It's not that we are "old" or "bitter". No one is screaming at kids to get off our lawns....yet.

We were the Disposable Teens of the 90's. We fought our way out of what society told us we should be, dealt with teen pregnancy and survived losing friends to drug overdoses. We turned out just fine, I'd say, despite our parents not "understanding us". I still don't think they or our bosses can identify with us much, but by being unaccepted, I think it helped us understand our children and others a lot more. It taught us to listen and be more accepting to things that quite don't fit our mold. For that, we should all be grateful. We didn't turn out like them at all. I would say this is exactly what "the lost generation" set out to do and twenty years later, we can finally relish in our glory. Mission accomplished. 

When I hear lyrics from "Only" and Reznor says "I just made you up to hurt myself", I think we all can relate to a deep-seeded demon lying around somewhere still. We stuff him down. He's dusty, but he's still there. I don't think demons like that truly ever go away. We just deal with them the best way we know how.


This is the music that defined us. This is our generation.