Here’s Why My 2023 Wrapped Has Nothing to do With Spotify

I feel like I’ve learned a lot and grown tremendously this year, but it has not come without some very hard lessons, acceptance, dedication, and emotions. “Being comfortable with the uncomfortable” has sort of become my mantra when I look back over 2023 and my entire life.

I share these things with you in hopes that someone else who is reading this who may feel lost, uncertain, or questioning themselves may not feel so alone. I have felt alone for most of my life because I realize that I have always been trying to fit in with other people, to be accepted and liked, and have been extremely exhausted mentally and emotionally by their stings of rejection in some way in trying to swim upstream while the current was always trying to pull me in a different direction.

As a child, I think I was always sort of a weird kid. Who am I kidding? I am still weird, but I have learned to accept and continually love that part of me hard because that inner child has been really stigmatized and treated badly. I learned to stuff my quirks deep down and not let others see how I truly am. I’m highly neurotic and worry about things that I shouldn’t because I don’t want to see other people hurt. I am trying to point these things out so they will avoid pitfalls because I am really in tune with how people feel and what they’re thinking without them ever uttering a word. This is the curse of being an empath.

After losing someone I cared for earlier this year, it became the catalyst for me to have some honest and hard conversations with myself about who I truly am. I was laid off from my job as an Instructional Designer and honestly, while I was terrified about how my family was going to survive, it was the best thing that could have happened to me. That time of not having to mask up to be around neurotypical people allowed me to relax, grieve, and then figure my shit out. I knew that all the trauma and mental health issues that I was dealing with had all happened for a reason. I refused to accept that these things happened to me and changed the narrative to that they happened for me. See the difference here?

I have very little compassion for learned helplessness, which is something I learned about in General Psychology. I choose life, I don’t allow life to choose me.

Because I have lost so many people to death, I know hard incredibly difficult it is to feel this type of loss. Each person that I’ve lost has impacted me in some way and I have grieved differently for each one of them. I didn’t grieve for my mom the same way that I grieved for my first fiancé, nor was his early passing handled the same way that I processed the loss of my father or many friends.

After the loss that comes from someone dying by suicide, I knew that this was my calling. I wanted to help people not feel so alone and find comfort without judgment from the pain that they were carrying around that is extremely heavy.

When I was a little girl, if you asked me, I would tell you that when I grew up, I wanted to be a counselor. At almost 47 years old, I feel like I am back on that path of fulfilling my life’s purpose. I am a crisis counselor and have been doing this work since early 2023. I am also working on my Psychology degree and volunteering as a crisis counselor for a different 988 organization, too.

I recently decided to pursue writing posts for helping animals in terrible situations but can honestly say that was the worst decision I could have made for myself for several reasons. I realized that was not my place and felt that it drove a huge wedge in me about not living my truth nor my purpose. I was there only seven days when I handed in my immediate resignation and went back to the work that I truly love. I feel like I am back home and am continuing my journey. I made a huge mistake and sometimes making mistakes are the greatest teachers in life – at least they have been for me.

So, if you’ve been wondering why I used to be able to produce blogs so often and now am not, you see me on social media at odd hours, or you’re wondering what happened to me – Hi, I’m still here. I am just really focused on bettering myself and learning so that I can, in turn, do my part in helping others.

I’m neurodivergent, have mental health issues, care deeply about small things, and feel everything bigger than neurotypical people do. I love my fellow weirdos hard because I know how hurtful it is to feel rejected.

If you’re reading this and wondering what your life’s purpose is, I encourage you to spend some time alone with yourself and ask yourself what really matters to you? Everyone is different and there is no wrong answer when you’re planting the seeds of harvesting your life. The answers will come in ways that you may never have guessed. Get comfortable with being uncomfortable. Take that brave step towards finding yourself, do all things with love, and you’ll discover your legacy.

Stay well.

Here’s how Friday the 13th became a holiday for tattoos

It’s Friday the 13th and you know what that means — time for a new tattoo. If you’re wondering where this unorthodox ritual came from, you can tip your hat to traditional ink styles of sailors and a shop in Dallas, Texas.

Vice reports that the trend of Black Friday the 13th tattoos started when the now-defunct Pair O’ Dice tattoo shop began participating in the developing tattoo tradition known as Friday the 13th flash sheet deals. The day boasts $13 tattoos, most with the number 13 worked into them somehow, or some other appropriately spooky theme — black cats, blood, coffins, a hockey mask. Most designs are about the size of a silver dollar.

For tattoo shops, Friday the 13th is akin to their Black Friday as customers flood shops looking for cheap deals for permanent adornments. Friday the 13th generally occurs several times a year, versus the one insane day that retailers must face, year after year.

Oliver Peck is credited for jumpstarting the “holiday” in the ink world, as he threw his first big Friday the 13th get-together in 1995 at Pair O' Dice, with the party lasting for 24 hours. Everything is bigger in Texas, right?

"I definitely wasn't the first person to do it, the number 13 tattoo on Friday the 13th," Oliver Peck, of Elm St. Tattoo in Dallas, said in the Vice article. "But, I definitely made it an event."

Peck also credits sailors as another waver of influence as to why people started tattooing “13” on their bodies.

Because the number has always been considered bad luck, he says, sailors would get "13" tattooed as an antidote to keep bad luck away. "Bad luck would come your way, it would see the number 13, see that bad luck is already there, and it would pass on by," he said to Vice.

Not every design has the superstitious number attached to it, however.

A $13 tat is a great deal, but pack some patience if you dare to step foot into a shop in hopes of getting some “retail ink therapy” in celebration of Friday the 13th. Lines are usually long and often form rather quickly with tattoo deal seekers before the doors open, leaving some tattoo artists less than thrilled.

Like it or not, Friday the 13th tattoos aren’t going to be killed off anytime soon.

Try These Tips to Balance your Caffeine Intake

There is a delicate balance coffee drinkers must be aware of or else prepare to discover the darker side of the cup that isn’t quite so pleasant – tummy troubles, headaches, feeling like you’re crawling out of your own skin, or the sensation of racing to the moon and back while still sitting in the same position. This is the “no fun zone” of having too much caffeine that keeps some balancing their consumption ever so delicately.

Staying highly caffeinated can make an unsuspecting coffee rookie go from feeling like a very productive superhero to a jittery, irritable monster on the short list for a heart attack. Before having a full-blown panic attack, perhaps it would be helpful to share some secrets for caffeine survival. Because let’s face it, we’ve all been there.

Well + Good gives some tips on how to counteract caffeine — if you overdo it (is there such a thing?!).

1. “Drink water - One of the best things you can do when you’re feeling the effects of too much caffeine is grab your trusty water bottle.” Veteran coffee drinkers likely analyze their source of water consumption by asking, “How many cups of coffee have I had today? Okay, then that is how much water I need to drink today.” – I know I’m not the only one who is guilty of caffeinating without hydrating.

2. “Take a walk - There are numerous benefits to taking a walk. Walking helps with your digestion, boosts your brain health, and — you guessed it — can also counteract the effects of too much caffeine.”

Caf-FIENDS laugh because we know the sensation of blasting off both mentally and physically by trying to walk a hole in the floor at the same time — have you ever gotten halfway to work and realized you forgot your car?

3. “Practice breathing exercises One of the easiest things you can possibly do to combat the side effects of too much caffeine is breathe. . . . After you’re done deep breathing, you’ll instantly feel more relaxed.” Inhale coffee, exhale bad thoughts.

4. “Meditate - While you’re lying down with your eyes closed practicing deep breathing, you might as well add some meditation into the mix, too.” Why would anyone want to focus on finding inner peace when insomnia just became your new best friend?

My advice – just power through it. The side effects won’t last forever, and you’ll learn your own personal limits (if that even applies) in no time.

Stay caffeinated, friends

This Farmer Starts is Morning with a Cup of Coffee and his Cow Best Friend

Not many wake up before the sun to get the day started, but for farmers, this is customary and all in a good day’s work. However, for one farmer, his day begins at the kitchen window, and it’s nothing more than business as moo-sual.

Fox News reports that “impatient pet cow moos loudly at farmer’s window every day for morning hug.”

Moo-ve it on over here, cowboy.

It’s not every day that a cow shows up at your window, mooing to get your attention to say “hello” and give you a hug! There are just certain things you get out of bed for, and a sweet cow wanting some attention would definitely make that list.

Jenna is a rescued dairy cow. Farmer Ryan Phillips found the perfect home for her at “Life With Pigs,” his non-profit farmyard animal sanctuary when she was just three days old. Jenna’s life was spared by Phillips taking her in, as she was born infertile and therefore unable to produce milk.

Under Phillips’ care, Jenna and the farmer built an extraordinarily strong bond. To put it simply, their connection is “udderly” amazing.

Phillips said, "We are truly best friends and she's definitely just as much family as any human could be." Jenna is about two years old now, but look at this Facebook video from when she was tiny that shows her trying to teach the farmer a thing or moo.

Here’s to life on the farm.

Has the Mystery of Stonehenge Been Solved?

Stonehenge is one of the oldest and most mysterious wonders of the world. Science just made a monumental discovery regarding a group of stones that makes up part of this structure. Archaeologists have sourced the stones to an area about 15 miles north of the ancient structure at West Woods.

BBC reports, “The origin of the giant sarsen stones at Stonehenge has finally been discovered with the help of a missing piece of the site which was returned after 60 years.”

Sometimes, all it takes is finding that missing piece to help complete the puzzle.

The sarsen stones are enormous. Measuring seven meters tall and weighing about 20 tons, they form the central horseshoe and outermost setting. Until recently, their origin has remained almost as mysterious as the structure itself. Science finally found the missing piece—quite literally—to the age-old mystery, thanks to 21st -century technology and a gentleman part of a past dig, who had held onto a small piece of history.

In 1958, Robert Phillips was involved in the excavations of the prehistoric site. Mr. Phillips returned part of the core last year. A test was conducted on the piece of the core from the sarsen stone that was in Mr. Phillips’s possession. It matched the findings of the standing stones after a geochemical study was completed.

English Heritage's Susan Greaney stated, "To be able to pinpoint the area that Stonehenge's builders used to source their materials around 2,500 BC is a real thrill,” according to the BBC. This just proves that both science and Stonehenge still rock.

Coffee Can Help Your Productivity - Here’s How

What is in your cup determines the outcome of your day and whether it’s going to be epically amazing or straight from the gates of hell. The type of caffeine that you choose is vital when it comes to being productive, and naturally, coffee is always the right choice.

According to Ladders, “Research published in the journal Nutrients found that natural caffeine offers a more consistent and lasting effect compared to synthetic caffeine in regards to cognition and moods. A team from Clarkson University published the peer-reviewed study in hopes to find the difference in caffeine.”

Researchers investigated the differences in cognitive function, mood and physiological function found in the body between natural and synthetic caffeine-filled drinks. Synthetic caffeine is found mostly in energy drinks, as compared to natural caffeine found in coffee. The results definitely spoke towards the clear winner in this contest of competency.

The article continues to say that the research team found that both “natural and synthetic caffeine improved cognition and moods, however synthetic caffeine had an initial spike after 30 minutes but slowed and tapered at 60 and 90 minutes.”

In other words, natural caffeine will give you that natural jolt you need for longer, making it the obvious right choice. We’ll let the research speak for itself. Don’t mind us – we’re just grabbing another coffee.

Black Metal Yoga Offers Hellish Form of Fitness

There are a few ways to work one’s ass off, and this time, we’re talking about the literal kind. No gym, no problem. This workout can be done anywhere and guarantees you’re definitely going to feel the burn (in hell) straight to the target zone of your glutes.

There will be suffering.

WMMR shared the video that displays a very intense lower body routine led by Instagram “Black Metal Beauty Guru” Lydia (@borkkvlt). The clip shows the Black Widow Yoga fitness guru in full corpse paint showing us all how to get an actual pain in the ass – the burn.

This isn’t only Lydia’s first rodeo (goat), however.

Loudwire explains, “There are other Black Widow Yoga classes via the Metal Yoga with Black Widow Yoga YouTube page. Classes typically run between 30 to 45 minutes with a mat required. And for those appreciating the workout, classes are donation-based with a suggested donation of what else, $6.66, per class.”

Hell yeah.

There is also a shop to scoop up some badass workout attire or badass work-from-home attire – whatever you want to refer to it as is fine, but just know, your sports bra never looked this metal before. Kick your normal workout routine’s ass on YouTube here and jump on the Spotify playlist to accompany the workout videos.

Hell hath no fury.

30 Years of the Hubble Space Telescope: See a photo of what it saw on your birthday

The Hubble Space Telescope is celebrating 30 years in orbit. In honor of the festivities, NASA wants to treat you to an image of space that they captured using the amazing photos on your birthday.

The Hubble was the first major optical telescope to be placed in space and has been showing us incredible sights of space in the form of photos 24 hours a day, seven days a week since April 1990.

As part of the celebrations, NASA launched an interactive platform for you to see a picture of space on your birthday. All you have to do is select your birthday month and day and the generator will reveal a photo from its collection.

According to Fox 8, most of the celebrations have been canceled due to the coronavirus pandemic, but NASA isn’t letting that stop them. The events scheduled in California and Washington, D.C., are postponed for a later date.

Serious stargazers who have a telescope can glimpse some of these same delights the Hubble has captured this month, from home. Let the experts at NASA be your guide to the stars.

If that doesn’t help you collect a myriad of stardust from your own backyard, NASA is sharing one photo every day from each of Hubble’s years in orbit to countdown to the official anniversary on April 24.

How I Dropped an Almost 30 Year Old Burden

There’s not much I’m afraid of anymore.

For years, I have been carrying around a secret that had me filled with shame. I’ve been carrying this heavy burden of guilt since 1996 and last week, I decided to drop it and let it go.

I went to community college in 1996 and took two classes that added up to half time hours – French and Philosophy. At the same time, I was also working a full-time job in retail and trying to figure out being a young adult. It was Christmas in retail and a few days before my finals, my assistant store manager guilted me into working and covering the store. I never took my finals.

I’ve gone through life beating myself up because I graduated valedictorian from my private high school that I graduated from and had a fully paid four-year scholarship to any public college I wanted to attend. In a moment of feeling guilty for speaking up for myself, I caved, and my life changed.

Now, at 46, I’ve gone through my entire life looking at this wasted opportunity that I worked my ass off for. “Not good enough”, “Do more”, and similar thoughts have plagued my mind in the workforce because I felt like a complete failure. I went to college, but never even took my finals. Therefore, failing or getting an incomplete in both classes. I threw myself into overworking and always trying to go one step higher. I craved the validation from my bosses over the years to help me feel like I wasn’t less. That validation never came.

Last week, I was laid off and I’ve had to have some very hard conversations with myself and had to face some demons from the past of not having a degree that has hindered my career growth. I have gone through life with only a high school education.

I decided to look at going back to college and just get past this. What I didn’t realize was that was the bravest move I’ve ever made in my life – facing myself.

Part of the process is acquiring my previous transcript from the college that I quit myself on.

When the transcript arrived, I opened it up, letting out a “sigh” because I knew I was having to re-examine a very old wound of shame and failure. I was not ready for the secrets that this transcript held.

I fucking passed these classes. I had to look at that twice. I passed these classes with a C and D because of not taking my finals, but I fucking passed. My GPA sucks, but I fucking passed. I have been sitting on 11 hours towards a degree that I didn’t even know about because I was too afraid to face what I thought was going to be the truth of bad news.  

I have never been so happy in my entire life. This is forgiveness, hope, and healing and I’m not wasting this opportunity. I’ve enrolled to go back to college with my shitty GPA and to keep going, because that’s one thing we can do. I can keep going. We can keep going. It’s never too late.

Don’t quit you.  

Here’s How Skipping Dinner Out Can Change Lives

I want to share something with you that I don’t think a lot of people have ever really thought about. I never even really thought about it until it was staring me in the face. People need access to health care services. Period.

We are having to pick and choose how to live and that isn’t right nor fair.

Now, I am speaking from my tiny space in the world, so hear me out about this for a second. I have gone several times in my life without medical insurance. For some people, this would either be no big deal and they’d choose to deal with the risk and repercussions, but how about for those who can’t afford their health plans, insurance or deductibles?

I know the quick answer could be to look at Healthcare.gov, but have you actually seen the prices and coverage and deductibles? There is the crazy.

I have been one of these people who opted not to have insurance coverage because I just couldn’t afford it. Now, that is a dangerous game that I’ve played with fortune a time or two because I choose to be medicated to feel “normal”.

Right now, I have a $280.00 bill that has accrued with my mental health service facility. I had to make a choice to live medicated and try to buy some time to pay it or to go without. At this moment in time, I cannot even get a refill on my meds until I pay them in full and schedule a new appointment, so that I can get more meds.

I have been shortchanging my prescriptions and underdosing myself, just so I stay somewhat propped up. I am 20mg under what I need daily to feel in good mental health.  

Do you understand what happens when people who struggle with mental health cannot get access to their medications or affordable counseling services? We suffer. We suffer on our own. We try to get by to make the thoughts go away. Some of us can’t. Some of us don’t. Some of us won’t.

If we all chose to skip a night of eating dinner out, it can help pay for someone’s mental health that is so very needed right now.

This is why I am choosing to support To Write Love on Her Arms and am asking for donations to help people like me who cannot afford access to the care that they need. Please consider donating here.

Today is different. Today, I now have insurance so I will have access to these services and my full required dosage of medications. Not everyone who struggles with mental health will be able to get what they need today or a tomorrow, without non-profits like this to provide the care so many desperately need.

Here are Ten Things I’ve Learned about being a Creative

I’m reading a book that is changing my view of how I see myself in the world. I feel like someone has opened the birdcage door and I’m free to come and go as I need to. The person keeping the bird in the cage was me, but noticed that I was also the bird.

I look back over the years or even the past few weeks and I see someone who was sad a lot because she never felt like she belonged anywhere.

It’s true. I don’t belong around certain types of people and I’m embracing that reality to its fullest. It’s okay. These people aren’t my people and will never understand me nor those who are like me.

It takes different strokes to move the world, right, so we can’t all be the same or that would be quite boring.

I’ve been reading “The Creative Act” by Rick Rubin and it is helping to give me clarity in how I, as a creative person, see things differently than others. I feel things to the tips of highest mountain tops, so when I feel something that moves me in a good way, I can’t help but to want to be bursting with love and joy. But, on the flip side, if you have something bad to say, I probably will feel it as negative, draining, or even attacking towards me. Sometimes, I’ll even take it personally when that isn’t how it meant, at all.  

I’m learning that as a creative, we are simply wired differently. but we are not alone. Others who are creative might have learned this a lot sooner than I did in life, so I don’t feel so lost anymore. I know where I need to turn when I’m feeling the ups and downs of life now.

I always trust the timing of things and tonight was no different. I located an old stash of images on my computer and randomly picked one to open up and look at to try to understand why I saved these. And, there was my answer, staring me in the face.

Creative People

1.       Easily bored

2.       Risk takers

3.       Color outside the lines

4.       Think with their heart

5.       Make lots of mistakes

6.       Hate the rules

7.       Work independently

8.       Change their mind a lot

9.       Have a reputation for eccentricity

10.   Dream big

“We feel, and so, we make.” – Ardently Angela

How Did I Wind Up in the Doghouse Again?

I’ve had a lot of proverbial doors shut in my face, recently. To say that I didn’t feel the sting of rejection just a little would not be forthcoming of me. I really feel like I’m living in the doghouse, so to speak.

I have the mantra of “that which is meant for you will find its way to you”, but lately I’m not feeling this even a little bit. My anxiety is high and I’ve been crying a lot the past week. I have my guard up and don’t want to be around most people, which isn’t the part of me that I am proud of.

I’m wresting, once again, with feeling like I am being bullied. If you think for a second this only happens to kids, we need to get real about what this looks like and how it feels to be on the receiving end of this. This situation has reared its ugly head in my world over and over and I wish it would just stop.

I have someone who is super nice to my face and I thought was cool. This person has been overtly over nice recently, which as an INFJ, I found a little odd. Hello, intuition, I should’ve listened to you more closely.

This person has been being overly nice because they’re faking in my face. They’ve been criticizing me to a group of others and have convinced them that I am the outsider. Follow the herd, I suppose?

I’ve never been an “it” girl. Ever. That is just not who I am. So I don’t understand why I am the target?

I ask a lot of questions because I genuinely seek to understand, not because I am unintelligent. I like doing things correctly the first time, and despise having to redo something that I’ve already done – all  because it is being nitpicked to death. They expect perfection, in my eyes, every damn time, and I am just not there for that.

Give constructive feedback and not your overly critical opinion of something that I did, because of whatever-your-Type A-reason-is to try and make me look “bad” – over and over again. Why are these people celebrated in circles?? They are not helping with anything. They’re hurting people.

They are the wolves in sheep’s clothing, and I refuse to let them try and eat me (or anyone else) alive.

Catch This Tonight or Wait Another 50,000 Years

The lightshow happening tonight is 50,000 years in the making!

In the pre-dawn hours tonight, skywatchers can get a glimpse of a comet that hasn’t been seen on Earth for 50,000 years. If you’re keeping score, no one has laid eyes on this comet since the Neanderthal times after the last ice age.

The green comet has been a science mystery for centuries and only “discovered less than a year ago”, according to WFAA.

To see the comet, you’ll need to be awake before 6am and live in the Northern Hemisphere. Looking North, towards the constellation Draco, look for a green hue in the sky. The comet won’t look too exciting to the naked eye, so bring binoculars or a telescope for best viewing.

The green comet or C/2022 E3 (ZTF), as it’s actually known, isn’t going to be a showstopper for “light show of the year”, like other more well-known comets, such as the Hale-Bopp, but the thought that seeing this green piece of the universe, is pretty exciting and came along during our lifetime. It only took it ages and the distance from beyond Pluto to return.

You Don’t Need a Niche to Create Content

I’ve never been the type to go with the crowd. In fact, some would say I have quite the rebellious streak in me that some call “bravery”.

I never fit in with most cliques at all, to be honest. I just didn’t want to. For a very long time, I thought it was because I didn’t want to fit in, but now I’m realizing it’s because my interests are too varied to stay in a single groove. I am quite eclectic and if you could see my music collection, you’d definitely agree. Does anyone else have ABBA next to Danzig? Hi…

When I started exploring the world of social media more, I was lost with all of it. I knew I was very drawn to it and very interested in it, but I wasn’t sure what my “thing” was going to be. I just knew what I didn’t want to promote – vaping.

It’s not that I have any bad blood against vaping in any way. It was the only thing that successfully got me off a 25 year habit of combustible tobacco of smoking cigarettes. Now, before you jump up and want to comment back that “It’s still smoking” or “It has nicotine in it”, I really implore you to do two things:

1. Understand and respect that I’m an adult who is very capable of making her own adult choices in her life. That’s right. My life, not yours. Your opinion is not going to change what I know to be my truth.

2. Do your own research and ask for guidance on where ours is coming from. Really, ask a vaper. We are the millions of people who’ve successfully quit when other methods failed for us. If you truly want to learn more about how we all kicked our cigarette habit, we will be happy to share our story with you.

Alas, back to the topic or the non-topical lane I didn’t want to stay in.

I had been the Social Media Manager for a vaping publication for a while. This was right when all the gigantic nicotine warnings had to be plastered on 1/3 of the page using certain fonts and sizing, per the FDA regulations. That is not anything I miss doing, honestly. It’s way too restrictive for my liking.

I wasn’t sure which niche I wanted to be in or the space I wanted to be a part of. It was then that my own answer for myself came to fruition. Why did I need to be in just one niche?

I mean, who likes only one thing? Most of us have many hobbies, interests and variations to our daily lives. That, dear reader, is my niche – to be without one.

So I just started telling people about the brands that I personally love. One of my first was Snarky Tea. I have been a customer since probably 2016 or so (or it feels like it and I am way off in my years) after seeing an ad for profanti-teas with names like “Get Your Shit Together” and “Fierce Bitch”, I knew I had to try it. And, here I am, years later still a Snarky Tea customer, but also a brand ambassador with others who are just as gaga about them as I am.

 But that wasn’t and isn’t my only love in life. I love animals like crazy, so I wanted to forge relationships with animal loving brands who help homeless pets. I discovered Beast & Buckle when my dogs were quite young and will always want to continue to promote a brand who just surpassed $100,000 in gear that has been given to dogs in need.

If you were to ask me what my secret sauce is, this would be my answer. Love what you truly love and promote it honestly. Be real. Be yourself with the products. Tell others why they would love it, too.

You don’t have to stay in just one lane unless you truly live and die by analytics. Sorry, not sorry, but I don’t. I’ve never gotten hung up on numbers, likes, followers, engagements, social blade or any sort of metrics like that. If something goes viral – awesome. However, I am not hanging my life up on that. I refuse to let that happen to me.  

This is just Marketing and there aren’t many rules here. This creative space is yours and yours alone to create in it as you see fit. Go make something of it!

Here’s How the Smallest Sentiments Appear in our Lives when we Need Them the Most

My mornings always feel rushed and crazy and I know a lot of it stems from my anxiety. This week, I was up, dressed and ready to tackle my hair to look nice for in office client meetings. There was only one problem – I couldn't find a bobby pin.

“How?!”. I asked myself. I have a basket on my bathroom counter that is the keeper of all things hair related. When you have this much hair, it requires complete organizational dedication to find your shit in the morning, get it going and leave for work.

Except, there was still the burning issue of I couldn’t find a damn bobby pin anywhere. I dug and dug through the mentioned basket of all things cheveaux, desperately trying to locate just one bobby pin for my hair. Nada. Empty. No dice.

There was no way I had time to undo everything I had done, straighten my hair, brush it out and figure something out because the clock was ticking and I am suddenly the white rabbit in a Lewis Carroll novel, all thanks to my bestie, high functioning anxiety.

I was really frustrated because I knew that I had at least a pack of 200. Why couldn’t I just find one right now? I really need to go!

And, something in my peripheral vision glimmered off to the side of my line of vision. I saw it, lying there, all tucked away unexpectedly in the jewelry box that once belonged to her. The woman who raised me.

I looked over, grabbed it and smiled. It was a gift. A reminder to take a second and appreciate the little things because they really are the big things.

As a kid, I was always playing in my grandmother’s makeup and jewelry. I loved trying on her earrings and wearing her necklaces and covering myself in vanishing cream and scented powders that could only be applied with a sultry white powderpuff. Funny how that has never changed.

Before my grandmother passed away, I asked her for her jewelry box. Not because I gave two shits about any type of heirloom piece. I wanted it because it always reminds me of her and I feel like a part of her is still with me, when I open it up and find joy in the small cosmetic staple pieces that were hers.

That jewelry box has been hiding a secret for many years. It has contained a single bobby pin that I desperately needed, right when I needed it most. This bobby pin was different and unique. Not just because it was hers, but it was distinctly smaller in size than my own and a much lighter color than my own. This bobby pin is a treasure that was meant for me to find this week and just remember.

I pulled my bangs up and pinned them back, creating a sort of quaff style with a single golden and small bobby pin. I couldn’t have been happier with my tiny secret reminder of her near me.

When the workday was over and it was time for bed, I removed that little piece of Heaven and put it ever so softly back in the jewelry box, right where I found it, but not without smiling, getting a little misty eyed thinking about her, and feeling grateful for so many things all at once.

Top 5 Expo Survival Tips You Need to Follow

This past weekend, I did something I haven’t done in a very long time. I went to an Expo!

The last few expos I’ve attended I was attending to work them, so that whole “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy” thing really ruled my life for a few years.

Alas, I attended the Greenman Holistic Expo and had a wonderful time! There were about 60 vendors and every booth was centered around living better. From t’shirts, to candles, to card readings, to trees, there was something there for everyone.

One of the t’shirt vendors I spoke with today in the one who inspired this blog. I see you, Julie! We talked about “surviving a convention”, so I thought I’d lend out some of my best practices.

1.       Shoes are everything. When you’re going to be on your feet all day, regardless if youre a vendor or attendee, you need to wear comfortable shoes. I am talking the kind that you have to ask yourself “Would I wear these bad boys all day at Disney?” if your immediate thought is “No”, well, you need to pass. Really, your shoes are cute and all, but no one is going to be looking at your feet – trust me. You are there to take in more steps than you even realize yet, so go with the most comfortable pair you own.

2.       Hydrate often. Water is critical when you’re at a convention. You’re talking to so many people and asking questions about their products, that you can get really dehydrated really quick. Bring a refillable bottle full of the good stuff with you, so you’ll be ready to hydrate at a moments notice. I highly recommend one of my affiliate brands: Juggy. They are portable, cute and come with a strap, so you can sling that sucker over your arm and grab a sip in a moment’s notice.

3.       Money, duh. Not every vendor is going to accept cards, so bring cash. Some even surprised me this weekend and accepted bitcoin (what?), but regardless of tender, you need to have options with you. You’re going to get hungry and if you’re not packing snacks, well, that isn’t going to end well to go with no money and no snacks. Also, go with a budget in mind so you don’t leave broke and spending the kids’ lunch money on that one thing you just had to have. Impulsive Sagittarius here, so I get it.

4.       Talk to the Vendors. There is a person behind that booth and you’re here to support small businesses with your attendance. Look and admire what they’re selling. Ask questions about their products. They may have a solution to your problem or you may the solution to theirs. You just never know.

5.       Have fun. Oh, this one is really important! Don’t go with people who aren’t into spending a few hours (or an entire weekend) on the niche you’re wanting to go see. There’s nothing worse than going and having a “Debbie downer” tag along the entire time, complaining about everything. No ma’m. Leave that person behind because they’ll just end up ruining your fun and no one wants that.

All in all, conventions are meant to be memorable. I definitely need to go visit them more often.

Here’s How I Tripped and Fell into a Little Bit of Self Discovery

I feel like I’ve turned over a new leaf in the realm of self-discovery. I love learning new things, but when I concur that I’ve reached “achievement unlocked” about myself, I need time to process. Here I am weeks away from my next birthday and I am still finding clues and putting together the pieces of the puzzle about me.

I discovered that I am a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) and I can already hear a lot of you laughing right now as you read this and thinking, “Are you seriously just now figuring this out?” Yes, I am, and it is both quite wonderful and strange at the same time.

The past few months at my job have been a little challenging, to say the least. I have a much younger coworker who nit picks everything that I do when I hand off a shared resource. “This numbering isn’t correct. You didn’t add this text in here. You can’t go back and change this”, are all examples of the relentless whining that has been hurled my way and now it has spread to other coworkers, my manager and my manager’s manager. It’s exhausting.

Today, I’d had enough and sat at my desk while they opted to have a meeting about me with me about how I am still not doing this his way. I’ve tried to offer solutions, to no avail. They’re opting to simply complain about how I’m doing things the wrong way, but no one has captured all these verbal constant changes into a procedure of the right way. I’m literally flying by the seat of my pants all the time.

I sat at my desk, no camera, on mute and cried. I was beyond frustrated in that moment because I wasn’t able to actually get any work done, I spent almost 8 hours in back-to-back meetings all damn day, there are constant changes and pivots to make because I am one person doing the job of 4.

Aint no rest for the wicked, I suppose?

I stumbled upon this great book about HSP’s all thanks to my lovely friend, Cat, who is letting me borrow her Kindle – shoutout to my kindred soul. Reading about people really piques my interest, and I’ve heard of this HSP thing, but didn’t know much about it.

After reading about HSPs, it is obvious to me (and has been to some of you reading this) that I am almost certainly one of the 20%. I’ve never felt like I fit in anywhere, I’m quite empathetic, I adore animals and want to pet everything I probably shouldn’t, get easily drained with too much peopling and can easily feel tension in a room between people where the thought never even crossed another’s mind in the same room.

I don’t expect my coworkers to even begin to understand, nor do I anticipate they could even comprehend where I’m coming from nor how they’ve made me feel. They are the 80% and I am not like them nor they like me.

I learned that the song, “That I Would Be Good” was Alanis thoughts about being an HSP and now I understand why this song always hit a nerve in my heart that I just couldn't explain to anyone, but it makes perfect sense to me (and likely any other HSP) out in the world. This song literally leaves me in tears every time I listen to it, which I am doing as we speak.

Life is complicated sometimes and when we take a minute to try to make sense out of a part of ourselves that feels like it just doesn’t make sense at all sometimes, it is beautiful. This helps me understand why I do a lot of the things that I do and some of the things that I don’t. Thank you for being on this journey with me.

“That I would be loved, even when I’m not myself.”

“That I would be good, even when I’m overwhelmed.” 

“That I Would Be Good” -–Alanis Morrisette

Why I Love Unsubscribe (And You Should, Too!)

In the past week, we’ve all been flooded with emails. Everyone is asking for us to shop with them, here’s the deal of a lifetime, buy one get one free, or the like. Honestly, it’s exhausting to look at my email and see 77 unread messages all saying the same thing - “Shop here”.

Maybe you looked at their website once, maybe you’re a customer, maybe you wanted a quote. Guess what? Too bad. You are now subscribed and will be filled with countless emails reminding you that “Today is the last day” and demons laugh and dance around a fire that is filled with countless email lists that never burn away.

I want to introduce you to something that’s been on my mind a lot recently. The power of the unsubscribe.

I can easily relate this to all of our inboxes right now, but how about taking it a step further and hitting the “unsubscribe” to things that don’t bring you joy and make you happy? Maybe you’ve made a Facebook friend that just lurks around and jumps into your comments whenever they feel justified in telling you how wrong you are. Dude, unsubscribe. How about the dinner plans that you agreed to on Saturday night after working a lot of overtime just to get that project completed earlier in the week? Bro, unsubscribe.

People have been telling me lately how happy I look and the joy that I exude when speaking. I could very well thank my dosage of meds, but there’s more to it than just this. I found myself unsubscribing to things that simply don’t make me happy, or I get excited about enough to follow. I’m choosing to surround myself in things that truly make me excited to see or be a part of. Life is too short to allow “spam” to fill up our lives and it’s a very healthy thing to just unsubscribe from people, places and things when we feel the need.

When was the last time you looked at your friends list? No really. How many people are on there and you don’t even interact with them, and they don’t interact with you? Ask yourself about the true value of this social media connection.

What kinds of pages are you following? These are the things that we become because we are faced with in day in and day out.

Learn the power of unplugging and just being in the moment. We don’t have to say, “Yes” to everything and there is a lot of power in the word, “No”.

So here, I am going to challenge us (you and me both) to saying “No” more often and not feeling bad about it, unsubscribing from things that just suck away our energy, time or a healthy mindset. FOMO can be very real and also very detrimental. I choose JOMO – the joy of missing out and have found a lot of peace and happiness in this space.

My Someday Shelf

As I sit here enjoying my lovely cup of black licorice tea (don’t judge me), I often just get lost in daydreaming about various things.

I look around at my unfinished projects, un-started ideas and random notes on topics and think, “What if I would have spent just a little more time on that, what life could I have breathed into it?”

Sometimes, I wish I had 24 hours in a day all to myself to just be alone with my creativity and sit here and write, but I know that isn’t a reality for me. There’s always dishes to do, homework to help with, dogs to take out for a walk and you name it.

But, what if, for once I did something for me? What if I took a trip with nothing planned and just enjoyed a few days being in nature with my pen and journals? Maybe that uninterrupted time could send my ideas traveling through time and space, like a shooting star or land somewhere soft like a down comforter, fresh and warm from the dryer.

What if, just what if, I finally wrote that book that I’ve been dreaming about for so long? The one that haunts me that I review from time to time and say, “What if?”

What if it had such an impact on kids, that they became great readers from a young age? That thought would be incredible and leaves me both breathless and speechless. But for now, it sits on my “Someday” shelf, collecting dust because it hasn’t yet come to it’s time nor full fruition. It’s not a fear of failure that holds me back from trying, because I know one day I am going to write this book.

I know that there are a lot of you that have your own “Someday” shelf and they contain your hopes and dreams, as well. Just don’t let your dreams get too dusty.

Here’s How a Man’s Devotion to his Dog is Changing the World

To say dogs are some of the greatest creatures on this planet would be an understatement, in my opinion. Dogs make our lives better in so many ways, are loyal to us until their last breath, and are our little (and big) reminders that unconditional love is real.

A friend of mine once told me that, “Dogs smile with their tails” and that beautiful thought has never left my mind.

There are many companies out there when it comes to picking up something new for your bestie to sport, but there aren’t any that shine like Beast & Buckle.

This company has been around since 2019 and was founded out of a tragic loss for the yet-to-be co-owner, Stew Anderson. It all began when a very special French Bulldog puppy named Clark found his way to Stew at a time when they both needed each other the most. Out of this unbreakable bond that formed instantly between a man and his dog, Beast & Buckle was born.

I had the pleasure of recently talking with Stew because I wanted to learn more about Beast & Buckle as a whole, and, well, I couldn’t get a word out of the other co-founder of the company, Clark.

This company is changing more lives for the better than I think that they are even fully aware of. They work with a lot of amazing organizations because they all value kindness, love, and making the world a little better for both humans and dogs. The Nala Foundation, French Bulldog Village, SNAFU Rescue, Paws and Stripes and Bullies 2 the Rescue are part of their “pack” of giving back.

Beast & Buckle has donated over $50,000 in harnesses and accessories and cash since launching. They donate a portion of every purchase made by their customers to charities on top of making regular donations of harnesses, leashes and collars to dogs without homes.

On top of this, they were awarded a Rising Star Award from ShoppingGives in recognition of their Social Impact in contributions to helping rescues and others who help dogs.

Just for fun, I asked what the oddest request they’ve ever received was Stew chuckled with his answer. “We had someone ask if we could make a harness for their pet ferret...that is definitely the strangest request we've gotten so far!”

Beast & Buckle is more than just a dog harness company and designing are dog harnesses is not done on a whim. It’s truly a legacy of love from concept to production.

“Designing each harness is both easier and more difficult (at the same time!) than people might think. A lot of our stuff is designed from scratch, and we also work with talented designers to license great art that we can use in parts of our designs (this is how a lot of clothing is designed).

Once we have great patterns in place, getting colors and scale right can take a good amount of time. How something looks in design software vs. how it looks on fabric can be very, very different, and we also have to account for how it will look when it's cut into the shape of the harness and worn by the dog. There are actually a lot of designs that get scrapped at this stage, which is unfortunate.

Once we have those finalized, we work on the supporting features – trim colors/patterns, buckles, zippers (depending on the item). Those are usually quicker, though trim matching can be difficult, too. “Stew admits.

Today, the company is refocusing the merchandising strategy to place an even greater focus on harnesses.

“We're going to retire a lot of the designs and some of the product types we currently sell so that we can create a high volume of new designs on a regular basis. We'll also test some new products, but we're really going to be focused on being known for putting (out) lots of really great harnesses.”, Stew said.

I was also able to get Stew to share a little insider information that is exclusive and being shared here first for the readers.

“We're adding a new (kind of) harness type in 2023 that will give customers another functional option on top of our Reversible and No Pull lines, and we plan to try some new clothing options for our furry friends.”, Stew explains.

Beast & Buckle is a small company doing big things for people, pets, and the planet and I’m happy to support them because they continue to support others.  A lot of us are “owned by Frenchie’s”, but Beast & Buckle isn’t Bully exclusive. All dogs, big and small, are welcome here and if you want to truly make an impact this holiday season, I couldn’t recommend shopping with them more.

Find them at www.BeastandBuckle.com and see for yourself why pet lovers everywhere are giving them a “high five” here.