How Did I Wind Up in the Doghouse Again?

I’ve had a lot of proverbial doors shut in my face, recently. To say that I didn’t feel the sting of rejection just a little would not be forthcoming of me. I really feel like I’m living in the doghouse, so to speak.

I have the mantra of “that which is meant for you will find its way to you”, but lately I’m not feeling this even a little bit. My anxiety is high and I’ve been crying a lot the past week. I have my guard up and don’t want to be around most people, which isn’t the part of me that I am proud of.

I’m wresting, once again, with feeling like I am being bullied. If you think for a second this only happens to kids, we need to get real about what this looks like and how it feels to be on the receiving end of this. This situation has reared its ugly head in my world over and over and I wish it would just stop.

I have someone who is super nice to my face and I thought was cool. This person has been overtly over nice recently, which as an INFJ, I found a little odd. Hello, intuition, I should’ve listened to you more closely.

This person has been being overly nice because they’re faking in my face. They’ve been criticizing me to a group of others and have convinced them that I am the outsider. Follow the herd, I suppose?

I’ve never been an “it” girl. Ever. That is just not who I am. So I don’t understand why I am the target?

I ask a lot of questions because I genuinely seek to understand, not because I am unintelligent. I like doing things correctly the first time, and despise having to redo something that I’ve already done – all  because it is being nitpicked to death. They expect perfection, in my eyes, every damn time, and I am just not there for that.

Give constructive feedback and not your overly critical opinion of something that I did, because of whatever-your-Type A-reason-is to try and make me look “bad” – over and over again. Why are these people celebrated in circles?? They are not helping with anything. They’re hurting people.

They are the wolves in sheep’s clothing, and I refuse to let them try and eat me (or anyone else) alive.