One of the Scariest Things I’ve Ever Done
In January of this year, I finally dropped my pen name. The request to remit published articles using my name came at the request of my Editors. That was probably one of the scariest moments in my life.
For years, I had been blogging under a nom de plume. I opted for writing under a pseudo name because I wanted to express my thoughts, feelings and emotions freely. Also, being me is sometimes a scary thing (for me, not you). I am always harder on myself than anyone could ever imagine. No one scares or intimidates me more than me. I am truly my own worst critic.
When I write, I read it a million times and comb over it, obsessively. I want it to be perfect. It cannot just perfect in my eyes, but it must be valued in the eyes of my readers. I want to capture their minds by describing things down the minute details so they can essentially “be there” in that moment with me, reliving the tale. This is and always has been my goal. I guess it is something I’ve captured into my writing style.
Am I ashamed of who I am? Never. I’ve always just separated my writing from myself, but it sounded like it was time to own being me and thus my Editors pushed me into the forefront. My name was published alongside others into the magazine we write for. My nerves were shot.
Looking back, this was one of the best decisions they ever coaxed me into. Was it scary? Was it uncomfortable? Yes and Yes. I felt like I was being outed over something I didn’t do, but actually did do.
I write. I contribute. I capture people’s stories of success, heartache, triumphs and failures and resurrect them for readers. I bring the reader into the moment, as if the reader is hearing the story firsthand.
This outing (if you will) has lead me to writing daily on our company’s website, where my articles trend alongside the other web writers and journalists, touch the hearts of the readers of our print editions, build amazing rapport with the business owners, report industry news, and lead readers to knowing about the latest and greatest products in the industry.
About a year later, after writing an in depth piece on a particular gentlemen and exposing the person that he actually is and not what people’s perceptions of him are, the tables turned greatly in my favor. That article gained a lot of traction. It was in that moment, that I felt like I truly knew my worth as myself and not the name I hid under.
My publication’s Editor in Chief took a chance on me when I was a nobody. I will never forget nor forsake the publication I write for and the leadership and team we have grown into and are still ever striving to be. I was just a lady who wanted to write and felt I had something to say. I called my now Editor in Chief and said “Hey, I want to write for you.” He asked for some samples and I stressed over his decision until that call came that said, “You’re hired!”
Today, I have a cover story I am very honored to have written and continue to balance print and web deadlines without ever skipping a beat. I truly love what I do and I’m finally comfortable doing it as myself.
I guess what I am learning is that we all matter. Everyone has a story to tell and I want to be that gatherer of theirs. Recently, someone saw me and said, “Wow, how did you become a published writer?” My answer was simple — Know your worth, don’t be afraid to ask, the worst someone can say is “No” and that “No” might be the best decision for you, even if it feels like a major disappointment at the time. Everything happens for a reason and the right doors will open for you if you believe, work hard and have an unquenchable passion.
