Empathy Changes Everything

Many people don’t understand the difference between sympathy and empathy and the world could use a lot more connection.

Sometimes, we need someone who understands. Someone who has been where we are or even someone who just fucking listens without judging, giving advice or pouring out their cup of problems on us to try and make us “feel better” about the situation.

Empaths are misunderstood people and the road of life is not easy for us to travel. We crave connection and nothing more from others. Did you kill it at the meeting? Hell yeah. We want to hear about your wins in life so we can celebrate with you. We don’t want anything from you. We are here for you when you fall flat on your ass or when your significant other breaks your heart and you just need a good, ugly cry.

We listen and share our experiences with others in hopes that we might find kinship in small, meaningful things. We build on trust and are a safe space for when the really bad things happen, or you have a secret burning inside that you don’t feel you can tell anyone. We are here to hear about your fears, your dreams, your goals and would love to help enlighten your ideas because we want to see you succeed and cheer you on when you find the strength to face your demons head on.  

A lot of you have reached out over the past few months and asked about me. “What happened to That’s What She Said”? Why aren’t you writing much anymore? Why have you been so distant? I have addressed those inquiries privately, because honestly, I was ashamed of the answers.

I felt like I had failed everyone. I went back to working a regular job instead of freelancing. I cried for months because I felt like no one could truly understand how I felt and what I was going through. I realized how much ego I had placed in what I did. I let my love of writing and my hobbies define me and when it all went away, practically overnight, I was crushed. It was the wake up call I needed.

I had to lose myself so I could find myself again. It hurt. I felt very alone but I knew that this was the path I needed to walk down. I had to unplug from everything and absolve myself in the silence of re-learning who it is I truly am and my gifts I can share with the those who need the same empathetic connection.

If I can use my art to connect with you in some small, meaningful way, that is all that matters to me. I am here to write things for you, if you seek an empathic kindred soul in which to be connected to, who merely uses the power of words.

A Season of Change

Everything has an end at some point regardless of if it’s a job, a relationship, a person, or a dream that came to fruition we once held dear. Things change, people change, and we change.

I’ve been spending a lot of time thinking about this concept of change and I have to admit, it has changed me, too.

Perhaps I can offer some advice to those who are feeling this sting of pain? I feel like a pioneer in this area because nothing in my life has ever truly been constant, and I think if we’re being completely honest here, yours hasn’t either. Change will find us and usually when we least expect it. That has always been the case from my own experience.

Change gives us the gift of opportunities. It bestows upon us the opportunity to be with our feelings of anger, sadness, fear, and even remorse. “Why did this have to happen?”, “Why me?” is usually what comes to mind. Be in those feelings for as long as you need to, but don’t ever park your car in pity town.

No one is immune to losing that which we truly love, you see. We all have our seasons of life and it is just winter from where you are standing looking out of the window.

Change also bequeaths the opportunity of learning. “What did I learn from this?”, “What could I have done differently in this situation?”, “Would it have mattered?” Of course it matters, as long as we are receptive to the lesson that change it trying to teach us. If not, we are bound to repeat it and it will sting over and over again until we learn from it.

Change is always uncomfortable but necessary. It is up to us to stay where we are and stay with the exact same (or worse) results or move into the space to grow. Growth is never comfortable, but necessary, if we are to become who we are truly meant to be and live out our life’s purpose.  

Evolve or die. Unlike the dodo bird, I choose life.

When I was little, I learned the meaning and wisdom of the old saying, “If you love something, set it free. If it returns to you, it’s yours. If it doesn’t, it never was.”

Over the years, I’d forgotten these lessons about change. I thought that by filling up other people’s cups, they would value me. They didn’t. I was never the first kid picked for any team. I was always the last. That really hurt me over and over again until I realized I was the one putting myself in harm’s way. I had to face change. I stopped seeing it as a foe, but as chance to be better.

I’ve learned that things around me, and thing that are happening to me, do not define me. I define me.

I’ve learned the value of walking away from things I truly loved. I’ve learned the value of change and now appreciate the opportunities that come with it.

I read more. I enjoy the little things in life more. I’ve learned the value of being still.

I am at peace with myself for the first time in a very long time. Maybe even the first time. It took me a long time to find the warmth of spring, which will turn into summer when it is time, die with the fall and return itself to winter, once more.

I don’t know what the future holds, but I know that I am content on living in the present and being in this moment, because this is where I am supposed to be. It is where we are all supposed to be.

Change. Accept. Learn. Grow. Repeat. Live.