We See and Hear You, “Karen”
Change is inevitable, I completely get that. But sometimes it happens to people that seriously leave me scratching my head and wondering who this person is.
I know that social media is having its heyday with “Karen” right now but as an INJF, I’ve wondered how this super shitty personality type even manifested to begin with? I feel like I have sort of pieced a typical Karen together. I think that understanding a Karen will help us all better deal with the next Karen that comes around.
In speaking from my own experience, not much about me has changed since I was a teenager. I still have a lot of my same core values I’ve always had, as have many of you. However, this is where I firmly believe the Karen is rooted in her garden of her own lies that she, herself planted.
To say these women are not happy is an understatement, but I believe it goes further back that just than just making a blanket statement. These women do not love themselves at all. Let’s go back in time, shall we?
I am a Gen Xer, but never heard this term existing until some Baby Boomers and younger generations came into fruition.
What I remember is seeing a lot of young girls in high school in the 90’s who were very broken and acting out because of it. They came from not so perfect households and truly ran wild with sex, drugs, drinking, skipping school – you name it.
Some of them married young, had kids young and have had a slew of partners since that time. Maybe some married men who truly did not love them and had hoped that marrying into money would make their problems disappear? Who exactly knows except for them - and they’re not saying.
I’m not judging here because I’m no angel. I am just bringing this to light so explain my observances.
Then, at some point around their 30’s, these women have a serious breakdown. All of their pain and things they missed out on hit them like a tidal wave of truth. It is just too much for them to look at themselves and deal with it. So what do they do? They create a new life. A new version of themselves that is 180 degree opposite of the young woman they know.
They post their new, perfect life on social media for the world to celebrate and comment on, seeking validation from their peers. They need to prove to the world that they’ve changed and gotten wise now in their 40’s+.
They catch their own kids experimenting with the things that they blame their own downfalls of life on, share their family’s own “just say no” stance publicly and start grassroots committees with other moms. Suddenly, their lives have “meaning” and there is no way they’re walking away from this newfound glory.
What I am getting at here is these moms are our peers, you guys. These women were the bad girls in school who chose to undo everything about themselves in a desperate cry for love, acceptance, and validation. Honestly, it’s very sad.
Their new livelihoods seek to destroy anything and anyone who cannot get on board with their vision of perfections. They’ll scream and throw a fit at anyone who they feel is standing in their way, whether it be their misspelled name on the side of their coffee or their own kid who their desperately trying to “save” from becoming like they once were.
Creating a new life isn’t going to actually replace anything. They’ll still be the same broken women inside, until they learn to love themselves and accept who they truly are – good and bad.
If you should come in contact with a Karen, just ignore them. Let them live their life in their own head and remember that silence speaks volumes. They’ll be onto something else to crusade about soon enough anyway.
Please love yourself wholeheartedly and learn to be okay with being vulnerable. No one is perfect and we all have our faults. That is what makes us beautiful, complicated creatures.
